It's scary to talk about fear, isn't it? Pun fully intended. But seriously...fear is something I've been dealing with a lot lately. It's also the reason I haven't been writing lately. I'm "afraid" what I've been thinking and what I have to say isn't worth reading.
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| [One of the ways I'm constantly conquering fear.] Thanks for the capture Erin! |
Recently, I read an awesome book called "The Big Leap," which got me thinking about fear in a very different way. The whole premise of the book (and please note that I do not have an innate talent for summarizing tough concepts for other people) is this:
We all have gifts; innate gifts. When we use those gifts in a full way, we operate in our “Zone of Genius”. When we are in the zone, we are contributing to the world in the way we are supposed to. But there is this “thing” (ego, self...whatever name you choose) that doesn’t want us to reach this level. This same thing wants us to be “average”, to remain where we are; it does NOT want us to move forward. So in order to prevent us from excelling, our ego creates hurdles, obstacles which are referred to as the “Upper Limit Problem” (ULP). It can be something as simple as a sore throat, or as complicated as a hidden relationship issue in an otherwise healthy marriage. These problems cause us to bring ourselves back down, until we learn to transcend them. I most frequently experience these problems in the form of fear.
I finished the book a few weeks ago. As I was reading it, I was thinking about a lot of things I’d buried for a long time. I started to ponder what I really wanted (what Greg and I both wanted!). I was moving forward. I was evaluating my thoughts differently. I felt like I could and would make a breakthrough. And then something happened. Fear crept in. Worry. Doubt. And my husband got sick. I immediately stopped moving forward...but I didn’t notice it.
Then last week, I had a revealing conversation with a long lost friend. We talked about the same topic (even though she’d never read the book). We talked about being open, and allowing good things to come into our lives; allowing things to happen. We talked quite a bit about my day job and the photography business. We talked about growing. And as soon as the tough questions came, I gave the same reasoning I always do - I’m scared; I’m not good enough; if I succeed...then I could fall, and fall hard. But this time, I noticed my ego and how I was trying to prevent myself from gaining momentum and moving forward.
I'd love to say it's been a downhill battle since that conversation, but that statement would be false. I'm still struggling, but I'm starting to notice. I'm pushing through the fear. In fact, my new goal is to run toward what I’m afraid of. And I'll use these acronyms as reminders:
Fear: Finding Excuses And Reasons
Fear: Face Everything And Rejoice
Fear: Feeling Excited And Ready
No more upper limits. No more living outside of my zone. I want to push through the fear and live up to my full potential...and by doing that, inspire others to do the same!
